3 am thoughts

It’s at night. Idk what to say but I want to write something. I want to lose weight as fast as possible. I want to do anything in order to achieve that. I just cleaned my room. So now it’s clean. I packed everything in my suitcase so I am basically ready to leave. It feels so weird to be prepared when I only leave in a month. But I want to be prepared. I want to leave. I am passionate to leave. I want to go home again. If I was home right now I would go on a walk on the familiar dark streets of district 11.

But I do want to enjoy my last weeks here as well but it’s hard to do that alone. My friends here are all working or are busy all day so I am alone aside from going to therapy. I like a girl in therapy but she has a whole thing with a girl so I don’t think I will even go on a date… Even tho she is pretty and I would want to kiss her…

Also, I have new glasses now so that’s cool. I am excited to have glasses. They actually look cool and I wanna wear them outside to see if I like wearing glasses or not. Like wear them for sleepovers or parties or idk. It will be useful in the future. I wanna wear them when we take pics to see if they look aesthetic or not on me. They are expensive glasses. They are Mark Jakob’s glasses. I am happy. I like spending money now which is bad. Now I wanna be rich cos I like the feeling of spending money and getting things that I want. Ok, I wasn’t serious obviously I don’t wanna be rich but still, it feels nice. But I don’t wanna be rich regardless.

I should print these pages out or something cos what if they disappear or idk, that would be sad. I have way too many diaries tho. Like in the two years in the US I realized that I like writing diaries so I started and continued. and now I have a lotttt. Like 3-4 in just 2 years.

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